You are not a true leader until you lose

Hi. Let me introduce myself. My name is Dhilip Purushothaman.

Now you may rightly wonder about the topic. Let me explain.

Leadership training focuses on teaching you how to make your team win. That is no doubt the most important trait to learn — to be able to lead your team to victories — be it the battlefield or the the corporate world.

But true and long lasting leadership comes not from constant winners but from those who have lost a lot too. You never learn to completely lead until you have faced adversity and learnt how to react to it and more importantly learn from it.

Read about any top leader in any field — business, sports, music, social or even politics… They will always have many failures and defeats as — an incredibly important — part of their success story.

It is simple. Failures and losses are part of life. What we take from these determine our future direction.

To name a few — Tom Brady (ignominy of being selected in the 6th round), Steve Jobs (seeing Apple almost go away and at one point being asked to leave), Elon Musk (booted out of PayPal at the height of its success), Abe Lincoln (need I say anything), Mahatma Gandhi (jailed and at one point absolutely alone).

It is natural to drown in the moment of the loss or failure. But once the initial feeling dips down, it is best to follow the below process.

Now you may say — it may not have been my fault. We are not assigning fault here.. We are just saying that you need to focus on what you could have done differently.

You may think that the above questions are too simple. Or that they don’t fit all circumstances e.g. loss of a loved one.

You are right. But they do fit what comes from that loss. When you lose a loved one, how you cope with that loss and support other — living- loved ones is where this will come handy.

I have tried this out after many years of drowning under my failures and blaming the whole world.

Am I a more successful person? Who knows?

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